Transcript: 5 Imposter Syndrome Exercises and Journal Prompts

Hello dear listeners, and welcome to Let It Be Easy. I'm your host, Lisa Sanchez, certified leadership and life coach, Reiki practitioner, and recovering overachiever. Not everything in life can be easy, but this podcast is about seeing how some things don't have to be as hard as we think.

This podcast is brought to you by Cocoon. That's my practice where I offer coaching and other resources to help you trust your intuition, design a meaningful life, and create fulfilling work. You can find out more@the-cocoon.co.

Oh my goodness. I am so glad to be talking with you today. The topic for today's episode hit me while I was driving around, running some errands, and ruminating about a challenge I'm facing. It's an internal struggle that may be very familiar to many of you. It is imposter syndrome. This is something that I coach my clients on all the time. All the time.

You would not believe how frequently it comes up. And it's something I've experienced many times myself, but not for a while. I would say it's probably been several years since I've experienced a big episode of imposter syndrome. And I would say that's probably because it's been a few years since I have taken a big risk, especially professionally.

I took a lot of them earlier in my career, and then the past few years I've been sort of more focused on designing my life, definitely taking some purposeful risks there and doing new things such as becoming a parent. But now that I am sort of like reconnecting with my professional strengths and dreams and sense of possibility and abundance, I am creating new things.

All of a sudden it hit me like a cold or something, like a little, little sickness that crops up and, and you Yeah. You start to feel it a little, you're like, okay, maybe I can shake this off. Maybe it's just gonna go away on its own. And then, no, it really grew to the point of getting a little bit. Stuck and like nervous and anxious, ruminating a lot, second guessing some of the things that I have so thoughtfully decided to do.

So I'm very lucky that I have the life experience and then also the experience of coaching so many people through this challenge. I get to draw on everything I have learned about overcoming imposter syndrome and I thought, okay, I've really gotta like take a dose of my own medicine. Just like ask myself, okay, what would I say to a client?

How would I coach them through this? What are, what are some of the things that I know would probably work? Would probably help. And if I'm doing that just for myself, it's easier to push it off and procrastinate and be like, I'll think hard about that later. You know, I'll mind the depths of my brain for these things another time, the next time it comes up.

But I realized, well, if I'm doing it for my listeners, If I'm going to be able to share it with other people so that hopefully they can benefit from it, well then I'm excited to do it right now. Let's do this and also it's gonna help me in the process. I am sure. So the first thing that came to mind for me was the reminder that when you are experiencing imposter syndrome, it is a sign.

That you are taking risks. It's a sign that you are doing something that is new or different. It's a sign that you are doing something that will likely lead you to grow. It's a sign that you are moving forward, and so the part of you that works really hard to keep you safe, sort of needs to speak up. Put on the brakes and be like, hold on, wait a second.

Is it safe to do this? Like, what could go wrong? Let's think about that and also then maybe we shouldn't do it at all. So that part of you that tries to keep you safe, I don't want to make it wrong. It's showing up in a way that's like, oh, hey, yeah, I was expecting you. We can expect that when we are moving forward boldly and courageously, putting something of ourselves on the line when there's something.

Interesting at stake, something meaningful, something valuable, we can actually expect and welcome that part of ourselves and say, oh, hello. Yes, hello. Scared part, hello. Fear, I thought you would come. I was expecting you. It must mean I'm onto something. So that's the first thought experiment I wanna offer you to help shift your perspective.

And as, as I go along, I wanna share some prompts that you can use as exercises for thinking, reflecting, journaling, given drawing. Whatever is most helpful to you when you are doing inner work. So on this perspective, some of the questions you might wanna ask yourself are, okay, in what ways am I taking a risk right now?

In what ways am I challenging myself? What am I afraid of? Go ahead and get real about that. Go far, like write down some fears and then just ask that fearful part of yourself. What else? What else? What else? What else are we afraid of? Let's just bring it all out into the light. Once you do that, you may find, oh, actually some of these fears are just like, really unlikely.

I'm able to just look at it and still move forward, and then some might be really sticky, like, oh gosh, I, I just feel that one so intensely. It really does scare me. Okay. In that case, I encourage you to follow it out. Go ahead and follow out that fear. And it may be helpful to you to do this together with a therapist, a coach, just a trusted confidant, some, someone who helps you feel safe and hold space for you.

But if you feel comfortable, you can do it on your own. Go ahead and imagine that that fear comes true, and then ask yourself, okay, what would I do if my fear came true? So for example, for me, my biggest fears are I create. Content resources cuz that that's what I'm doing right now is getting back into the mode of creating for others.

So my fear would be I create something, I put it out into the world and it doesn't resonate with anyone. It's. Nobody finds it. It doesn't go anywhere. It is just kind of like crickets. That's one fear. I've experienced that before, so I can kind of set that one aside, like, yeah, okay. It's kinda scary, but you know, I'm not gonna die.

If that happens, what I will do is I will, Move on and create something different. I might try to like investigate and find out what didn't resonate or why wasn't anyone able to find or access or make use of that thing. I create it and then otherwise I'll just move forward and create something different.

So that'll be okay. My second bigger fear would be that I put something out into the world and it actually hurts someone. Like someone is insulted or offended by what I create. So what would I do? Oh, oh my gosh. I would feel so badly. I would feel so sorry. Assuming I did make a mistake, I would apologize and I would remove the content.

I would learn from the experience and try to do things differently. Going forward, if it was something that I like, I believed in, and I felt strongly, very differently from whoever it was that, that I hurt, I would acknowledge and validate their feelings and perspectives. And then, I don't know, maybe like add on something to that content, some type of disclaimer or something.

Yeah. So basically as I talk this through, It helps to remind me that I am resilient and creative and resourceful and strong. So yes, something might go wrong, things can go wrong, and I can handle it. I will be okay. I have faced challenges before and gotten through them. So that's what this exercise is really all about.

It's about actually directly facing your fears and remembering that you are strong enough, you have the tools within you to face whatever comes up is scary when you have that unknown of like, well, I don't know exactly. I can't always anticipate everything that might go wrong. Yeah, the unknown is scary, but also you are going to be okay.

You will figure it out. You can handle this. Okay, so the next exercise and prompt I want to offer to myself and you is to return to your purpose. So perhaps you. Didn't clarify your purpose before you moved toward this new thing, this risk, or whatever it is that's bringing up imposter syndrome for you.

Perhaps you weren't clear about your purpose. That's okay. You can get clear about it. Now, the imposter syndrome, gremlin is here to catalyze that. So let's return to purpose. What is important to me? About doing this. So in my case, what's important to me about creating and sharing what I have learned from coaching clients over six years and taking plenty of risks and, and learning myself, what's important to me about that?

Well, one, I. Really want to be able to be of service to more people than I can coach one-on-one. My one-on-one coaching is, is so limited by my time and energy, and my brain feels very full of useful stuff that I share as much as possible with my one-on-one clients. Um, and then often what happens is, I'll have a one-on-one session and then afterwards.

I'll be like, something good happened there and I got to be a part of it. Now, mainly in those sessions, it's the client who is doing the big, deep, courageous work, bringing their vulnerability and their creativity and their curiosity. But I. Participated. I made a contribution and I'll sort of take a moment and be like, I wonder what I contributed.

What did I say that was helpful? It was something there that worked, but usually I've just got a few minutes to transition to my next call and that. Thought passes unanswered. I just move on to the next call. So creating right now is giving the me the opportunity to go back and reflect and dig deep on what are those things that I say and ask repeatedly because I've learned in a.

Totally instinctual way at this point. What works, what really tends to help? And uh, gosh, I wanna make that available to more people than I have time and energy to work with one-on-one. And also to those who wouldn't be able. To work with me one-on-one. So yeah, I know that I know stuff that's helpful and I wanna make it more accessible, so that is my purpose.

Also, if I go even deeper and broader to my purpose for my business as a whole for my coaching practice, the reason I became a coach is really to help underrepresented leaders thrive. I used to be one of those. What I mean is for myself, a leader in the sense of a manager in a corporate environment and a person who was often the only in a room in any given room all day long, being in meetings where I was the only woman or the only person who is not.

Entirely white. Um, uh, the only in a whole variety of ways that is exhausting. Um, and it was really hard for me to stay the course and chart that path where I felt like so often I was the only one or the only one I could see. Around me. So anyways, ultimately I decided to step off of that path and certainly now I lead in other ways.

I make use of my inner leader, but it's really important to me to take everything that I have learned and use it to support those who want to stay. On the path that they are on, just giving them as much support as I possibly can, helping to clear the path for them wherever possible so that it doesn't have to feel like you are chart freshly charting a path on your own all the time.

And then also to help people who, like myself realize this actually isn't the right path for me. It isn't worthwhile to me to do the work, to stay on this particular course that I'm on. Well, I wanna be able to support that discernment process and that decision making process to find what is aligned for me and what are the steps I'm gonna take to change.

The course of my career and design a new career for myself as I'm talking about this right now. I'm getting so excited. I'm like waving my arms. See, it's happening. I'm reconnecting with my passion and my purpose. That is why I'm creating right now. That feels so much bigger and more powerful than my fear.

I guess I haven't really totally expressed what my imposter syndrome part says to me, but when I get scared, when I get anxious, it's things like, well, who are you to really like offer something? To the world publish something like, what do you really have to say? It's probably not that new and original.

Maybe you won't say it right. Maybe you won't do it perfectly. That's a big one. So yeah, that gives you a sense of what my imposter syndrome sounds like. Maybe that's familiar to you. Anyways. Yeah, so thanks for giving me this space to return to my purpose here. I hope that doing that, Exercise will be helpful for you too.

Okay, next. The next tool that can help with overcoming imposter syndrome is to look to your past. Ask yourself when have I taken a risk before? When have I done something? Similar to this before. Um, when have I taken on a new challenge? When have I surprised myself? This, this is becoming like a lot of different questions, but you just choose what resonates with you, what's most relevant to the current situation you're in.

Maybe you are doing something or considering doing something that you've absolutely never done before. But I bet you've faced a challenge before. I bet you have taken a risk before. I bet you've tried something new before. So scroll back in your memory to those times. Try to tap into how you felt beforehand, um, what you were afraid of.

And then also connect with how did you do it? How did you get through it? How were you able to be with that challenge as it was unfolding or that opportunity for growth and trying something new? And then afterwards, like, what are you proud of? What did you learn? What were the benefits or positive outcomes of going ahead and taking that risk?

Practicing courage, even though you were afraid? Another way to do this exercise is with someone else, a trusted confidant friend, partner, therapist, coach. Ask them to listen quietly while you answer one of these prompts. Tell me about a time when you went through something difficult. How did you get through it?

What are you proud of? From that time, what did you learn? Or you can answer the same questions about a time when you took a big risk. What were you proud of? What helped you to get through it and take the risk and then have the listener reflect back to you after you're done speaking? Um, what are the strengths and characteristics that they heard that helped you to overcome?

Or get through something hard, get to the other side of taking a big risk. Also, if this is someone who has known you for a while, you may not even need to tell a story to them. Just ask them, when have you seen me? Get through something challenging. Um, what are the characteristics, strengths and skills that you see in me that help me do hard things?

In that way, you can really kind of create a believing mirror. For yourself to hopefully help boost your confidence. Another way you can do this is to answer the prompts just into like your phone and record it, your phone or computer. Just create a voice memo. And then you can listen back to it. I realize that some of these methods might feel uncomfortable for you.

That's okay. Just forget about that. Take what's helpful to you. Use that. Leave the rest. Yeah, so for some people journaling can be helpful for some speaking and recording it in a way that you could go back and listen or read the transcript. Sometimes it might be helpful to, uh, be actually talking to someone in order to do this reflection and mind your past for examples of your greatness.

Really the the tools that you are gonna bring with you into the challenge or possibility that you are facing right now. Okay. This kind of leads into the next, um, exercise I wanted to offer, which is to say to yourself what you would say to a friend who is facing something similar. So if I put myself in this place, and I think about a friend who is wanting to create new things and share what they know with others in order to be of service to more people, but then they're kind of getting cold feet, they're feeling some imposter syndrome.

What would I say? Oh my gosh. If I think about each of my friends, I just think, wow, the world needs what, you know, you don't have to know everything. You don't have to know it perfectly. Yes, there are other people who are like further along in their journeys for whom this, this stuff might not be new. But there are a whole lot of people who are sort of, Behind you or beside you on this path who are going to be able to take away so much encouragement and like really helpful tips.

If you don't do this, they won't get to benefit from that. So like, I don't even care what you need to tell yourself to get yourself to do this. Whatever it is, tell yourself that so that you can just get this done. Don't worry about it being perfect, just do it. If even one person gets something out of this, like it'll be worth it.

You'll be glad you did it. And in fact, even just by doing it, you might feel better and learn something about yourself. So that's what I would say to a friend. And I encourage you to give yourself that prompt too. Like what would I say to a friend if they came to me dealing with imposter syndrome about exactly the same type of thing.

Lastly, I want to. Encourage you that you don't have to deal with this alone. So the thing I did today when I was dealing with imposter syndrome in the moment while I was driving around was to put on some podcasts that I absolutely love. So, This exercise is really just to gather inspiration, maybe create a list, create a little menu of sources of encouragement for yourself when you get off track, when you're second guessing, what are those?

Voices or whatever form they might take from me. It's usually voices. I love podcasts and audiobooks. So yeah. What are those voices that bring you back to yourself, even if it's not like they're talking about exactly the topic you're dealing with, but those certain things it may be for you. It's certain music, certain musicians, or.

Artist or people you admire just when you connect with their stuff, you feel seen, you feel grounded. Um, Make a list of those so that you can turn to them in times like these when you just need a bunch of encouraging stuff to pour into your ears. And for me today, those inspirations were. Your Simple and spacious business podcast by Jen Carrington.

Everything she creates does this for me, brings me right back to myself. My purpose. It grounds me, it gives me a sense of abundance. And then also the Spiritual Feminist is another podcast I've been listening to and loving by someone I met through Jen Carrington's community. Anyways, I will include those links in the show notes in case those sources might be inspiring and helpful to you too.

I will also share a link to a guide where you can get all of these prompts and exercises in written form, if that is helpful.

Before you go, a few final notes. First, if you have a topic or question you'd like me to cover, I would love to hear from you. Just send me at podcast@the-cocoon.co. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on whatever app you use to listen, and if you liked this episode, please share it with a friend.

That's one of the best things you can do to show your support and encourage me to keep going. Until next time, let it be easy.