Transcript: The Case for Turning Off Video on Zoom

 Hello, dear listeners and welcome to let it be easy. I'm your host, Lisa Sanchez, certified leadership and life coach, Reiki practitioner, and recovering overachiever. Not everything in life can be easy, but this podcast is about seeing how some things don't have to be as hard as we think. This podcast is brought to you by Cocoon.

That's my practice, where I offer coaching and other resources to help you trust your intuition, design a meaningful life, and create fulfilling work. You can find out more at the cocoon. co.

Hello dear listeners, I am here today to talk with you about something I'm really passionate about. It's something that has been kind of a given for me ever since I started coaching. It's basically communicating via audio only, turning off the video on Zoom. So I just want to give you some background about why I do that as a coach, and then also why it's a recommendation I often give to my clients as well for other meetings that they're having.

So I started coaching back in 2017. My coach training was in person, so I had started my coursework and I would go for these long weekends where we would coach each other together in the same room. And then the facilitators, the master coaches who are training us, they did some demonstrations where they would put themselves back to back.

Like seated in chairs generally, so they're, they're back to back and they would demonstrate a coaching session without looking at each other. So the point was to encourage us that it is entirely possible and just as effective to. Do a coaching session by phone or, you know, zoom audio only, and that it's just as powerful.

So I really took that to heart. I was really impressed at. What they could do and then how it worked for us when we tried it as students. So, that was how I began as a coach, right from the beginning with my very first client, we did audio only. So, interestingly, I have clients that I have been working with since that time, since 2017, who I, I've never actually seen.

I've seen their little avatar. But like, I've never seen their face, we haven't been on video, we haven't seen each other in person, and yet we have such a deep connection and it's just been a really meaningful and powerful relationship. So initially, for myself, the reason, there were a lot of reasons why I made that choice to not use video.

One was that just. I'm an introvert, and so I just had this sense that, like, it felt easier to do audio only than to appear on camera. Basically, having the camera on made me feel like I'm on camera, I'm on stage, someone's watching me. That makes me nervous. And I figured, well... I'm probably going to have clients who are introverts, too, and they might feel that way, too.

Like, let's just remove that whole factor of feeling watched and feeling on camera. And then another thing was that it was a lot more convenient. I didn't have to make sure that I was in a video ready space. And I also didn't have to make sure that my, my Body was video ready. I could just show up as I was to these calls Without stressing out about you know How my face looked that day or my hair or my shirt or something?

another reason was that it meant that I and my clients could move freely as long as we were using a Um, either, um, you know, wireless headphones, AirPods, or just connecting via the phone or zoom audio on the phone. We could be free from our screens. We didn't have to be chained to our laptops. And that meant that gave us so much more freedom with our bodies.

So in. My work together with my clients, there are times where I will have them do a physical exercise. So maybe we are getting up and moving the body to a different position. Uh, maybe I'm having them stretch or shake. things out. Maybe I'm having them kind of lie down and close their eyes for a visualization.

So sometimes there's directed movement with our bodies. And then beyond that, I also wanted to give each of us the freedom to do with our bodies, whatever we needed to during the call to be most comfortable and relaxed. So for some people They feel better and are more relaxed if they're like walking while they talk or pacing around, moving around the room, whatever.

I wanted to give them that freedom. Some, for some people, it was, it's helpful to be outside. Actually, while I was pregnant, I I was experiencing a lot of pain, um, and the one position I could be in where I wasn't in pain was lying in a hammock. It took so much pressure off of my tired bones. And so, yeah, it was like nice weather for months three through nine of pregnancy.

So I, I took all of my coaching calls from a hammock. Outside, you know, when I was not in that hammock, life was a little tough because of the pain I was dealing with and yeah, being pregnant for me was not easy physically, but I would get in that hammock, my body would feel so good and also it was beautiful to be outside and it gave me so much freedom to be able to do my best work while In a really comfortable position in that unique period of my life.

And once again, having that experience, I wanted to make sure that that was available to my clients too, if for whatever reason. Oh, and then there was a time where I. Um, broke my foot and I pretty much had to lie down and elevate my foot for weeks. I mean, to varying degrees, but at least for the first couple of weeks, I was pretty much stuck in that position and there was no change.

to my work with my clients to my coaching. I can absolutely coach and do my best work while being horizontal with my foot elevated. Usually, like if I'm able and we're, we are going to do a physical exercise together. I will, so if I'm telling my client, okay, I want you to stand up and like relax your shoulders or something.

Usually I will get up and do that with them too, just to kind of like really be extra present with them, even from afar, they can't see me doing that, but sometimes you can feel it. You can feel it when someone is really with you. So, yes, that one piece was missing from my coaching, like while my foot was broken or while I was in the hammock.

I really don't think anybody noticed. I was still able to do really good work. And coaching requires a great deal of trust. And it tends to... Build a sense of intimacy. There's a lot of vulnerability involved. There's a lot of depth to that work. And I guess I, I just want to share that. I think it's a really common myth these days that you need a video for better connection.

Like, that maybe you can build more trust or something if someone can see your face on the video. And I really wanted to say that in my experience, that is not true. It is entirely unnecessary and I actually feel like it's possible to build greater trust and intimacy more quickly without video because like, okay, imagine you're, you're in the same room with someone.

And you want to talk about something really vulnerable. If that person is sitting right across from you, really close to you, staring into your face, it's, like, a little intense. It can be overwhelming. But if you actually, like, sat side by side, and you can imagine this, I'm sure there are all these scenes in movies, you know, where two people are sitting side by side.

And one of them, like, starts to open up, or starts to cry, or whatever, like, and then maybe the other person puts their arm around them, or something, but they're not, like, doing extreme eye contact at that moment, they're, like, both looking forward. And being next to one another. And I think that audio only can create a really similar type of experience.

It's just easier in my experience with my clients to open up when you are not on camera. Another thing about zoom and FaceTime is that. When you've got the video on, you can see yourself and it's incredibly distracting, I think, for myself to have an image of myself there. It creates this whole thing, you know, where you're thinking other thoughts about yourself.

You're looking at yourself. You're trying not to look at yourself. And then. It's like taking away some of your brain power and some of your presence with the other person. Um, and, like, I think sometimes the other person can, can feel that or sense that. Even if it's a little subconscious, you know? Like, just this sense that, that like, the person is on the screen.

It seems like they're looking at you, but they're like looking through you because they're actually not looking at you. They're looking at their own image. Um, this always reminds me of a scene from the movie Center Stage, which is like one of my favorite movies because I'm like a huge ballet and dance.

So there's a scene where some dancers are rehearsing a pas de deux, dance of two, partner dancing. It's, you know, some romantic scene from a ballet. And there's like a male partner who like gets down on his knees. That's part of the, what he's supposed to perform. And then like, he. The, uh, teacher or ballet masters having them say something.

I can't remember what it is. Like, I am at your service or something. I am yours. Something like that, right? And the, the guy who's on his knees is like looking at himself in the mirror because that's what you have in, in ballet studios is a massive mirror. So you can see yourself while you're training. So this guy is like, you know, I am yours.

And he's looking at himself. And then it's just funny because they call him out, you know, like, obviously he's not really connecting with his partner. He is the massive ego, and he's just looking at himself. Now, the thing is, like, you don't need a massive ego to feel compelled to stare at yourself. If you just catch a glimpse of yourself, it is very...

It is really hard not to look at yourself. So anyways, that's another whole thing that I think makes video hard and kind of steals some of our brain power. So anyways, I, I've been doing this, this has been my whole practice since 2017. And I have not had any experiences where I received negative feedback about that aspect.

Once in a while, in the, in the early years of my coaching practice, someone would get on the call as a potential client and they would have their video on and I would say, Hey, do you mind if we turn the video off? And they would sort of be curious or confused or nervous about that. Like, can you really coach me without seeing me?

Is this really going to work, you know, and I'm sure there may have been some potential clients who were turned off by that maybe, and they never ended up working with me, but I don't think there was much of that, and often like they would have questions or feel unsure about it, and I would say, you know, I totally get it, here's why I do this, let's give it a try in this, you know, intro session here.

Let's give it a try with our videos off and then you can see how it was for you how it feels and like You know so often they would want to work together. I would never mention it again and a lot of the times Many of my clients even to now like people who've started working with me We're more recently have come back to me and said hey Actually the fact that we work together only on audio has opened up new things for me.

And I'm, I'm trying this at work to, uh, turning off the video to see what's possible. It can be a lot less tiring to do audio calls than video calls. And let me just stop right there with my, like, stories that I'm telling and read to you from this New York Times article that I thought was really interesting from back in 2020 when everyone was having Zoom fatigue.

Okay, so the article is called Why Zoom is Terrible, which is like kind of a hyperbolic title, just trying to get your attention. But I think the article is actually really good, and it shares some interesting research, and it says, I'm just going to read you this one paragraph here. It says, The problem is that the way video images are digitally encoded and decoded, altered and adjusted, patched and synthesized, introduces all kinds of artifacts.

Blocking, freezing, blurring, jerkiness, and out of sync audio. These disruptions some below our conscious awareness, confound perception and scramble. Subtle social cues. Our brains strain to fill in the gaps and make sense of the disorder, which makes us feel vaguely dis. Disturbed, uneasy and tired without quite knowing why.

So I don't know about you, but I think social interactions are hard, even in person. It was like, it is not always easy to read. People interpret their body language, interpret social cues, even if you are someone who is very proficient socially. We misunderstand each other a lot. Just as we try to communicate and connect with each other.

So then if you add this Technological challenge on top of it some of which is as the article is saying some of which we might be aware of but some Of which is totally Beneath our conscious awareness that makes it just a whole lot harder This podcast is called. Let it be easy. I feel like this is this episode is like so You Very relevant to that intention of like, wherever possible, why not make things easier for ourselves?

Let's just see if we could bring a little bit more ease into our lives. So much of us spend so much time on Zoom. Video calls, working remotely, and many of you may already be doing this. Maybe you're on the same page as me. There's lots of meetings you're having where you're turning your video off. Other people are too.

No big deal. But if you're in a context where the norm is video on all the time, I just want to make the case here for video off for giving it a try. So the last thing I want to talk about here Is another opportunity that opens up when you have your video off, it's probably, it may seem obvious, maybe something you already do or are aware of, but I think it's nice to get more explicit and specific about it.

So when you've got your audio off, it opens up the opportunity to do more of whatever you need to manage stress. And feel safe and comfortable and relaxed. And so I just want to come back to the, the five senses here, which I also do a lot with my clients. Some of this you could do with video on, but some not.

So if we start with, with scent, this you could do with video on, but like if there's a particular scent. Puts you at ease, for example, or that energizes you at a time when you want to be energized. You could bring that into your workspace. You could light a candle or have another form of scent if that's helpful to you.

You can, as I sort of touched on earlier. You can do whatever you need to with your body. So if you're going into a meeting that you feel like you're nervous about or you often come away stressed or tired like Proactively you can think about hey, can I turn my audio my video off for this? I'm like, what could I try with my body that might help to Show me on like a really deep level that I am safe so that maybe you find a certain yoga pose that's very grounding to you.

Maybe you sit in a chair that makes you feel powerful. Um, maybe you lie down and you feel yourself really supported by the floor beneath you. Basically, it gives you a lot of freedom. Also with what you're wearing. What you're wearing can certainly impact the way you feel. And so, I mean, we all joked about this a lot, especially during the pandemic, where it was like, you know, Zoom shirt on top and like pajamas on the bottom.

If you, you're like, okay, I want to feel. Professional or, or polished or whatever, and you're doing that with your shirt. And then you also want to feel super comfortable. And so that's what you do with your pants. This could go even more into the realm of almost like a costume or something where it's like, okay, maybe for this meeting, I really need and want.

to feel incredibly creative. So, I'm gonna put, I'm gonna wear what my most creative self would wear, and maybe that's not something that's like common to wear at my company or something, you know, maybe like, you know, you tend to wear neutral colors and so do a lot of your colleagues, but like, you actually feel most creative.

When you're wearing like bright red or something unique or just something you, people aren't used to seeing you in, you can actually put it on and nobody has to see you in it, but you can feel the benefits of wearing that thing. Another example is like. Uh, if we go to the sense of touch, maybe you want to feel very comforted for a particular call.

You could like wrap, wrap yourself in a particularly soft blanket or maybe a sweater that, that makes you feel really, really cozy, but you don't want, that's not the look that you're wanting to portray. Um, in that particular meeting, well, if you have video off, you don't have to worry about what you are portraying, what you are performing with your appearance.

Let's see. Taste. Oh yeah, taste. So a little bit easier if you have the video off to like, Let's say there's something you want to taste that will help you feel really good during a meeting. Like, just for example, okay, this meeting is always pretty stressful for me. I'm going to keep some chocolate nearby or whatever, just like pop some melty chocolate in my mouth.

No big deal. You know, uh, unless you're doing like super loud chewing sounds. Other person isn't gonna notice the way they would if you had the video on and you're eating chocolate the entire time. Yes, so What else? Sound, sound. Mm hmm. Can't do much with that one when you're on audio You're just on audio with other person.

Yeah, okay I hope that this gives you some ideas and Some inspiration and some like fodder if this is something that you want to make a case for Um, with your colleagues, um, or if you are a manager, if you're a leader, if you're someone who is in charge of others or who influences the culture at your company, these are some things to keep in mind.

I've touched on, you know, some things that can be really challenging about video, some benefits of being audio only whenever possible. So yeah, I hope you will take what's helpful to you. And also, definitely let me know if there was anything in this episode that resonated with you, or gave you an idea, or that you've tried now since the episode.

I would love to hear about it. This podcast is hosted through Substack, so you can respond. You can leave comments. In sub and I'll respond to you and I'd love to hear from you. And I will include the substack link in the show notes so you can find that if you are currently listening on another platform. And yeah, it was so lovely.

I would love to share this with you today, and I will talk with you again soon. Before you go, a few final notes. First, if you have a topic or question you'd like me to cover, I would love to hear from you. Just send me a note at podcast at the cocoon. co. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on whatever app you use to listen.

And if you liked this episode, please share it with a friend. That's one of the best things you can do to show your support and encourage me to keep going. Until next time, let it be easy.